Thursday, July 7, 2005 10:22 p.m.
Thursday, July 7, 2005 09:18 p.m.
You know what? This is such a dumb entry.
Monday, June 20, 2005 09:52 p.m.
Pablo Neruda
XLIV
You must know that I do not love and that I love you,
because everything alive has its two sides;
a word is one wing of the silence,
fire has its cold half.
I love you in order to begin to love you,
to start infinity again
and never to stop loving you:
that's why I do not love you yet.
I love you, and I do not love you, as if I held
keys in my hand, to a future of joy-
a wretched, muddled fate-
My love has two lives, in order to love you:
that's why I love you when I do not love you,
and also why I love you when I do.
Monday, June 20, 2005 09:24 a.m.
!!
:(
Thursday, June 16, 2005 11:34 p.m.
bought coldplay's X&Y. sadly, i haven't started liking it even though i've heard it abt 2-3 times now. the only nicer ones are 'fix you' and 'til kingdom come'. sad. it's the most highly anticipated album(for me, that is) of the year! but then again, it took some time for the songs in 'a rush of blood to the head' to get to me too. and i Looooooooooooooove tt album. so, i still have hope :)
my parents are going off to china for 1 week next week. i dread it coz then i will have to be the "head" of the house. that sucks. the only good thing is that i can boss my younger bro around. but then again, when have i ever bossed successfully? haha. oh man..
Thursday, June 2, 2005 05:59 p.m.
boreddddd. guess wat? the soccer girls are taking part in this year's inter-sch championships! and they're having intensive trainings on tues and fris. i wanna go tooooooooooo. somemore they don't have enough ppl n r hoping tt the j2s can come down to train too. i want lah, but i'm j2! :(
Thursday, June 2, 2005 09:32 a.m.
was blog surfing and i went to kavi's blog. saw the netball pic that we took right after we won 1st prize at the NUS carnival(21may05), and realised how much i miss playing :'( but nwae we won 1st prize! haha.the girls played so well ok i was screaming my head off outside court. well..didn't play main budden it was equally exciting off court. heh. i want to learn to upload pics...right now i only know how to link it to my blog. bleah..tech-idiot.
Thursday, June 2, 2005 12:52 a.m.
Wednesday, June 1, 2005 08:40 p.m.
ran in 23 mins 45 sec today. double yay! :)
i shall call weilin to run with me the next time. it's jz different having someone to run with.
anyway. got quite a lot of stuff today..mostly stuff for obl, n also other goodie stuff tt i managed to get my mum to pay for. haha. yayyy.
BUT. i didn't do anything. i mean like, homework or revision. spent my free time reading The Full Cupboard of Life by Alexander McCall Smith. It's quite a different book from what I usually read. This guy is British writing about a story that is set in Botswana, Africa so, hmm i wonder how much of it is really Botswana but so far so good! The writing is really cute. Heh.
erm, what am i doing online?? have bio spa tmr! skill C+D somemore. haven't even started revising for that. bleahh:(
Tuesday, May 31, 2005 10:39 p.m.
i actually packed all my files today! wow..but i have a few notes missing. think i lent it to someone n it hasn't come back to me. hmm. started on math....so far, so good? no, no good. can't get all the ans for functions n i actually took abt 1hour to do qn 1 of the differentiation exercise. great. haha..at this rate i don't think i can pass my common test. and worse i'm supposed to get CCC because that's wat i wrote in my target setting form during the meeting with the VP. well i m going to stop complaining. talk less, do more.
anyway..today i really wasn't focussed. kept thinking of going for a run! at 4.30pm i finally couldn't take it and went for a run. on my way, i saw weilin! haha. talk about coincidence. she jz went to mr goh's hse(which is near my house) to view the video of their finals..sigh. speaking abt tt, it's q sad hc lost their title to ac this yr. ayez....nvm. maybe ppl fm ny jz hv this thing abt losing. sometimes when i'm alone and i start thinking, i still can't believe tt we lost to RJ in that crucial match. just one bad quarter and poof, all the sweat, pain, effort we've put in over the past few months just evaporates into thin air, as if it never existed at all. u noe the thing is it's ok if we were lousier. but wat sucks the most is that we knew we could do it but we let it slip away. ah y m i still talking such things. its been wat, 1/2 a mth since that day? yes n this is too much digression. i felt gd after the run. well not tt gd coz i deproved. i don't know if it's bcoz of the traffic lights that refuse to turn green today or just me that i ended up being 1 minute later than usual. 25 mins 16 sec, from the usual +/-24mins. i also felt myself tire earlier than usual. maybe its coz of the fact tt i ran in the late afternoon today, versus the usual 6.30am runs. duno?
anyway..i'm done with revision for the day(a little bit early). but dun care la..it's the hols man. im gonna practise guitar/ read a book tt my brother bought. haven't gotten in touch with many ppl since the hols. guess i need the solitude for a while.
Monday, May 30, 2005 10:10 p.m.
nwae, there was an OBL outing today at 5pm. were supposed to meet up n climb bukit timah hill in preparation for our OBL trip this friday, end up 5/19 turned up. hmm..i was a bit disappointed coz i had the feeling most were gg to turn up. most of them were busy with other things and some were under the weather. the guys ended up walking really fast coz 2 of them are from OAC n they wanted to be back in sch for a campfire. joyce n i had to walk runrunrun walk to catch up. the journey up was good. tiring esp the last part where it's jz huge steps after huge steps. i could feel my quads burning(partly due to the fact trg stopped q long ago) towards the end. but it felt good! i jz realised tt tho i hv been to BTH for a few times i hv nv gone up to the summit before. the journey down was scary. kenny told us that we would hv to use all 4 limbs to get through tt path but i didn't think it was that scary, until we really got to it. if u ever go BTH go check out the "rock path" down. it's really scary bcoz it's very vertical and with all the moss covering the rocks, there isn't much steady ground to be standing on. my foot slipped a couple of times but lucky i was using the 3-point rule thing so i didn't tumble down the hill or something. but it's scary. while we were climbing down i kept thinking tt this path is not fit to be a path. it's so scary la if it wasn't for the guys who had some experience in climbing down i think i'd still be stuck there now not knowing how to take the step. i feel quite accomplished gg down that part. and lucky the day didn't grow too dark (about 6.40pm) when we were trying to go down there. yup..den we walked n walked n walked n finally made it out of the hill. i'm so excited for Lumut i wonder what it is like there! we're gonna climb a 2000m high mountain and then kayak around perak in 9 days. i hope it'll be wonderful. i hv nv explored another part of the world with a certain amt of risk factor n this is gonna be my first. well..i jz hope everyone else is as excited as i am. :)
Sunday, April 17, 2005 10:17 p.m.
Anyway, just came back from the intensive netball training camp. Quite a camp. I liked it, although it takes too much effort to describe why now. But I definitely loved the training sessions as well as the off-training parts. Haaaaaaa....I can't believe A div season is going to start in 1 week's time. I got into the team, yup. Was quite shocked that Ms Lee announced the team today. Yah..and I think that the camp has prepped me up for the season! I'm very happy that the team is discussing and working out the problems that we are facing right now. It's so fun when everyone is so committed, and I am inspired:).
Hmmm...as for those who didn't get into the team, it's sad but I am damn proud of them because they've put in the best that they had no matter what struggles they faced. I saw you working hard during the centre pass training , with all the dodging and getting free from the defenders. :)
Well anyway, went home with P.T. because she lives near me and her parents came to fetch her. We went to check out the "ang pow"(coined by regina) jersey and sadly we decided to go with that because there was insufficient stock for the white version. But there's still only 2 XLs! And they for some reason, automatically go to Maisha and Sangee. Hey, can't you see that I'm obviously more in need of that?!! Shall go psycho Maisha into giving me "her" XL. I will psycho to the extent of bribery and threat. Heh..
Yah. That's about all. Very tired. Tmr still have napfa. I am having muscle ache now okay, how to do standing broad jump????
Studying in Singapore
Tuesday, March 29, 2005 10:32 p.m.
Yup anyway, as I was saying, I'm studying for the sake of grades. After Mr Ducro said that I kept telling myself, I must get 3As, I must get 3As. But the whole point is that I think I'm not interested enough in what I'm studying. From what I observed, those who get a lot of As are either the ones who either spend all their time studying or the ones who are very interested in their work, like taking the initiative to find out more about things which are not exactly related to their homework. And I don't really do such things! I mean sure, I'd be interested to read up on mushrooms and psychology(I have books like these at home) but I think I don't make time for it. If I was interested enough, I would have made the effort to make time for it right? Hmz. I don't know.
The stress is coming on to me, I can feel it. It's worse when I only take 3 subjects, coz I die die also have to use these 3. And bio. I have no idea why but I always subconsciously avoid it as much as possible. It's all the minor details that I can't be bothered to memorize.
Huiqi is gg to exchange her phone cover with me for a while. Yay! I love her phone cover....reminds me of my old phone..-sob-
I want to go run!! Haven't been running enough. Ever since holidays, trgs increased to 3(Ms Lee)X and so we don't have Ms Lim's physical trg anymore. Hai..I think we built all that stamina and fitness for nothing because it's slipping away! And Ms Lee's trgs are more skill based so they don't maintain your stamina or improve it. I miss running! Better go device a plan for running.. See that is the "interest" I'm talking about! Why don't I have that for my studies? Grrrr..
My Scab and other things
Thursday, March 24, 2005 10:50 p.m.
It's times like these that make me realise how much I live for intense feelings. The sudden rush of emotion. I like the adrenaline I guess. Like when I train so hard and stuff. I mean, if you think about it, I train 5 hours( and soon to be more) a week all for this round object that I can buy for $36 from a number of shops. Probably not only for the ball (I'm starting to desentimentilize netball), also for many things else but...ah you get the point. I feel so chopped up today, like things cannot flow properly from my brain to the (see I'm stuck in my sentence again) fingers on my hand or sth. I should really just end this entry now. This thing about not being able to articulate thoughts into words...gets annoying when you persist.
I had fun doing the chemistry paper today. Challenging yet fun. I can't say the same for math. Totally screwed it up. I think maybe I was too tired brain felt clogged up when I looked at all the questions. And you could say that I studied vectors for 2 days for almost nothing. And Jess and Xin Yi were discussing during break that iterative num method will not come at all because it never did before and it did! Luckily I glanced a bit...still there were so many parts I didn't know how to answer. Was feeling really sad after the paper coz I think the bulk of my holiday was spent on math. And if I'm not reaping the things I sowed then...what am I doing? And em, Xtin asked me since I study complex number so much did I manage to do the qn. Yes for the 1st one, no for the 2nd. I mean, I got an answer for the 2nd one but I had many many solutions...they way you would have if you had a cubic equation. So I think it's wrong. It's this..I can even remember now. wz^2=3/16-1/4i and ...oops can't remember the 2nd equation, but I know it has w* in it. Solving simultaneous equations. Yup. Getting tired now........zz.
Yay have been waiting for this moment. Where I've been accumulating sleepiness. And very soon I'm gg to allow it to hit me so bad that when I put my head onto the pillow, I just SLEEP. and sleep. and sleep. i can finally rest now, since common test is over. -victory sign-
Tuesday, March 22, 2005 01:32 p.m.
1 more day...
Couldn't Help It....
Monday, March 21, 2005 02:53 p.m.
Monday, March 21, 2005 02:38 p.m.
2 more days...just 2 more..
Stoned
Monday, March 21, 2005 02:13 a.m.
Started on respiration and I hope it will be in time for the test on tues. Actually planned a lot a lot of things. But being a really bad planner(I cram a lot of stuff only to realise that it's impossible for me to achieve all that in the given period of time). Guess I can't do my bio tutorials anymore. Will have to just read through and hopefully it will be enough to pull me through. Ms Lim set a goal for us, to improve 1 grade from promos. I had E(math), O(chem), O(bio) and most people would say "aiyah sure can one lah, so easy". Frankly I'm not confident at all. I mean, yes I can know stuff but when it comes to answering them it's a different story. I don't answer smartly I guess. Well, another thing that's kind of...sort of bothering me is that I'm supposed to do better since I even dropped a subject. I don't know if I can do that! Ok..feeling very insecure now so can't help but worry in words.
Read 3 of christin's poems. Man they are good! I mean, I can tell what she is trying to say and there are real structures and they even rhyme! Haha.. The poems I wrote have none of the above characteristics, except maybe the first one. I just wrote things that came to my mind. She asked if she could read mine. Actually, I would have if I had gotten over the issue. Like coz this is my state of mind. Makes it quite paiseh. Heh so, sorry Christin! Maybe 1 year later I will show you :>.
Feeling quite stoned because of the coffee. Missed church today to study and it is so so so so bad. Feel free to come and knock some sense into me, coz I think I'm at a spiritual low :(.
I Knew I Didn't Get It Right
Sunday, March 20, 2005 10:23 p.m.
1. Relating to, characteristic of, or resulting from dogma.
2. Characterized by an authoritative, arrogant assertion of unproved or unprovable principles. See Synonyms at dictatorial.
As Sin Hui says, "Ok I still don't understand".
Ditto.
BrandHub and netball training
Saturday, March 19, 2005 11:04 p.m.
It's been 7 days since the March holidays and I must say this is the first time that I ever felt that it's not the holidays. It doesn't even feel like the holidays! You wake up knowing that you cannot slack because of the test that's coming up. And the worst thing is that feeling like you cannot slack is one thing. Not actually being slack is another thing! Another whole obstacle on its own. Argh.
Anyway, I had a pretty interesting day today. For one, I had the chance to go to BrandHub, a company that helps organisations to brand themselves, to listen to a focus group discussion. I was supposed to be in the focus group discussion as well, but the guy who initially wanted Hui Yi and me to go for it ended up only wanting one out of the two of us to be in the discussion. He called Hui Yi first so she had to go. Hehe. We were both dreading it and when Hui Yi knew she was to go alone, she was very disgusted with Kok Leong(the guy who liased with us) for calling her first. Haha. I decided to go with her to accompany her and also because I helped to refer a friend(Kellie) to the company. So I met Hui Yi and Maisha in the morning at 10 to do some revision at Delifrance in CityLink. It was quite good and I found myself being slightly more productive. Maisha helped me with ALOT of questions...so cool. Haha. And I realised complex numbers questions can come in many different styles. So NJCians, beware! I hope they test a lot of complex number bcoz I think I invested a lot of time in it. But who am I kidding? The bulk is definitely gg to be from trigo, integration(inclusive of ODE), and VECTORS(yucks). Anyway, we decided to swop around our music coz Maisha got bored with her Jet cd. My brother borrowed the Jet cd from his friend before, and I remember not liking it! Except "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" and "Look What You've Done". But hooray! I discovered some more nice songs :). Don't know the title though. Hmm..but I still like Keane better. Keane rocks! Coldplay too. I think I like emo music. Heh. Hui Yi commented that "Hands Down" by Dashboard Confessional is very cute. Yay! It's one of my favourite songs and I just love the way he sings the bridge. :D
Then Hui Qi came. She got my msg early in the morning but decided to laze around in bed and ended up sleeping later. Tsk tsk.. My study mood was disrupted. Partly also bcoz I can never construct an ODE from a story! Irritating. Ended up reading and analysing the teacher's workings instead. So was quite annoyed and hence the disruption. After a while, we had to set off for the focus group discussion and to meet Kellie.
We took a million years to find Club St, where BrandHub was located. I tell you, it must be the smallest and most inconspicuous stretch of road in the whole of Singapore. I have a bill to give to the government: Put more signboards directing us to Club St! If it wasn't for Hui Qi who spotted the font size 12(or probably smaller) Club St sign, we might have taken another million years to find BrandHub. Aiyoh..
Okay anyway, BrandHub is this rather stylishly designed small company. Cosy, orangy, with a few arty-farty paintings. I like. Rayna and Hayna(can't remember this correctly) were the people who greeted us and they were shocked that 5 people appeared in front of their doorstep(they were only expecting 2). But nevertheless, we explained that we were just there to wait for Hui Yi, so they let us sit at a corner while still being able to listen to the entire discussion.
Hmm, let me count. There were 7 people in the discussion plus 2 facilitators. Among them were people from SRJC, RJC, MJC, YJC, NJC and SAJC. There were questions like "Why did you choose your JC?" and "Were there any other choices you considered?" and "What is your ultimate aim from choosing your JC?". Then they also discussed about what they felt about their own JC. Hmm...I could tell that some were unhappy with their JC. Then I found myself being shocked when Hui Yi said that she finds the school(NJC) very dead. At that point in time, I felt myself wanting to rebutt. Oh My Gosh, am I starting to defend NJ? I was quite taken aback from these feelings that suddenly came to me like a surprise attack. But well, I didn't rebutt because the situation was so that it would be awkward for me to say anything that went against the flow. Yup. Hmm, as to why I had these feelings, I probably have a better impression of the school now than last year? I don't know. All my life I have been criticising all the schools that I was from, only to realise after that that these schools hold great memories for me. So I'm thinking, maybe I just don't get to see the good side of things while I'm in it. Same goes for NJ. I like school nowadays. Other than the academic stress of course, but that comes with every student so I can't blame the school right? Yeps. And Kellie was being a super duper pro linguist. Used words like, dogmatic. Like huh?? (Okay, I'm not the greatest vocaber around) The only reason I will have the slightest bit of understanding to this word is because we learnt it in biology, The Central Dogma of Genetics(or something like that, can't remember very well), which means the central problem of genetics. Isn't that much easier to understand? But aiyah, Kellie is so good at language, who can blame her?? Haha. And I like the way she is confident of what she is passionate about.
Ah, quite tired to blog already. We left the place and Hui Yi and Kellie got their 50 bucks(woo!!). Had a lot of difficulty in getting a cab to Kallang Netball Centre(KNC/NS). We realised that we were supposed to have a friendly match at 5 and had to report to KNC at 4.30. It was a change of plan and we all had previously thought that we had to be there at 5. So there was a bout of fluster here and there. We reached there only to realise that the match was an informal one and the TK girls we were playing agst were the so-called more important ones. Ms Lee just wanted us to play with them to give them some experience. Yup. Rushed for nothing(not very nothing, but quite nothing).
Eh..from today's training I also realised how I should work harder, if I ever want a place in the team. I'll be sad if I don't get into the team coz that will mean that I will never ever have the chance to play a A Div game. Right now there are so many defenders, and now that I only play one miserable position, it doesn't make me very useful does it? Anyway, I'll just try. And if it isn't possible, so be it. I roughly know the things I should work on so heng, there's at least something that I can start with.
Hmm...studying together is fun! Even though in a big group very little gets accomplished. Still fun though. I'm guessing no one is going to study together tmr. Some people cannot make it and we somehow still think that Woodlands Library is an unsatisfactory place. And let's face it, the test is coming so we shouldn't study together for the fun of it. Hrmz.... I hope everyone studies hard though. Only then can we put all our heart into playing a good season this year right? Right.
Running with my lil brother tmr. Looking forward! Today's training was very skill-based and not physically exhausting at all.
Some random updates
Friday, March 18, 2005 08:25 p.m.
Have been very half hearted these few days. Like I will tell myself, i really want to do this, do that, but at the end of the day nothing happens. So i'm thinking, is this entry going to be deleted halfway through as well?
Haha. Anyway, I wrote 2 poems since the last blog entry. Actually i wrote 2 poems in the last three days. And these 2 poems are about a person. Haha. It's so fun writing poems, except mine does not sound like a poem at all. It sounds very unpolished and amateurish, but what am I complaining? This is probably only the fifth time I try to write a poem on my own. I'm proud to say that I don't think I compromised the "me" part. How do I say?.. To me writing a poem is hard mainly because you have to retain the feeling, your own feelings, and at the same time, sculpt it into a piece of .. art? I'm not sure if I'm making sense to people who read this. Like having to make things rhyme and basically have a nice touch to it. Having appropriate words and syllables for each line and each stanza, and having to capture the essence of what you're trying to convey to fit into a few lines. That's hard. But that's the most fun part of writing a poem. Really shows how much you're trying to tell something and how sincere u are. People may not be able to see this but it's good enough that you know it yourself.
Well anyway..have been spending my days in Woodlands Library, hopefully mugging enough for common test next week. I think it is a very special place. Like, there's bound to be people you recognise. In bishan, for example, you seldom get this. I guess a lot of people I know come from Woodlands?? It's a lovely place..and Causeway Point is super huge ... It's like a city all on its own. Went studying with the netballers and we did so many things there! Settling our lunches, taking daily neoprints to mark our progression in our mugging expedition.. making the glue thing(you know the one where there is a template of a picture and you just add coloured liquids to design your very own picture and somebody there will dry it for you). Regina came on the first day and she actually did quite a bit! But she was semi sick on monday and so she couldn't make it on tues and wed. I'm not sure whether she came today. The most loyal ones are hui qi, hui yi and maisha. Because they've been there since day 1! I wish I could study there for the whole week too. But already made some appointments so I couldn't be there on wed and today. Basically I didn't manage to accomplish much these few days, and I'm really quite stressed but I rather not talk about it now.
Two days ago, my mother asked me if I wanted to go for my brother's passing out parade. I wanted so much to go because I'm really proud of my brother. He changed so much ever since he went to army! Firstly he's not that rude, secondly he's very patient nowadays, thirdly he became very sensible, fourthly .. eh, most importantly, he likes to exercise now!! At least I think so. Over dinner yesterday he said he finally passed his 2.4. I asked him what his timing was and it is around the same time as I run now! So I excitedly said "now we can go run together!!" And he laughed and said yes. He said yes. For those of you who don't know my brother, he totally isn't the type that exercises. There's just too many other things for him to do, you know? Last time whenever chee how and me go down to play soccer or basketball or badminton, we would always call him along and we didn't even need to guess that he would say no. But now he's changed so much! And I'm so proud of him not because he likes to exercise, but because I can tell that he is very proud of himself that he accomplished all those things. I can just feel the sense of pride whenever he talks abt doing those stuff. Like there was once, they did a 24km march that was super shiong and tiring, and he got back only at around 2am? He messaged cheehow and i right after that to tell us about it =). Yup, I think that NS is one of the most special things in Singapore. I really wouldn't mind going for NS. But too bad I'm a girl and only girls who are serious about serving the country or seeking extreme stuff goes to sign up for NS. And that is not really me, so... OH. Yes right, back to when my mother asked if I wanted to go. I wanted to but I knew at the back of my head that I had to study. Or I'm seriously screwed for common test. And anyway, each NS guy is only entitled to 2 tickets and since both my parents took leave, there wasn't actually any space for me. So I went to J8 and sat in coffee bean for about 6 hours studying organic chem. Learnt quite a bit with some help and I must say that I feel more confident about chemistry =). But I can tell that I'm being really unproductive. But well... I guess I should be glad that I'm taking the initiative to learn anything at all. Like today I learnt something new about complex number! NJ didn't really teach it. If the arg(z)=pi/4, then the arg(iz)= pi/4 plus pi/2 going anticlockwise. Yay. And I did my friend's complex no. tutorial...it is much harder than my one! Scary. Suddenly makes me feel not so confident about complex number.
I really want my 3As quite badly.....because I know the career path I'm going to choose involves biology and in singapore that is not an easy route. But it is something I at least have some interest in so I better buck up.
Whoa, looks like I have quite a bit to say after all? By the way, soccer that day was a blast. And that is coming from a person who missed a free kick in the "box" and also a penalty shot. Imagine how much fun I had considering I did all those things. Soccer is fun! It is different from netball because in soccer you get to drible the ball as well. So there is actually a point in time where you have to decide which to do: pass or dribble. Also, it's a more complex tactical game because the field is so big and you just can't get to a place in a few seconds. In netball even if you're Centre, the maximum is about 30 metres to run. Yup! I actually even feel a bit sad that soccer has ended. Coz it was quite fun when everyone was there to learn things and try to play a game together. And everyone started learning at roughly the same level, so it was an equal journey...so to speak of. Thinking of getting everyone a little something, just for remembrance, but I wonder if I can find time to do it, coz I'm just preoccupied with common test.
Yup! Anyway, shall go and do some revision now. I hope everyone works hard too!
Some nice songs:
Sunday, February 6, 2005 06:23 p.m.
Ryan Cabrera - True
The Thrills - Just Travelling Through
The Thrills - Not for All the Love in the World
Ray Charles - I Can't Stop Loving You
=)
saturday youth fellowship
Saturday, February 5, 2005 06:47 p.m.
anyway, today's youth fellowship was nice. we didn't have keys to the building so everyone had to climb over the gate to get in. and melanie was the "carry bag" girl because she helped everyone hold their bags while they climbed over. haha. yah. and..today's turn up was quite little. lots of people had other commitments, of which i suppose were commitments that couldn't be cancelled. it ended up with me having to play the guitar. okay..i am fine with all the chords but i'm very new to all the songs and so i didn't get the tempo a lot. but it was pretty ok because they knew. heh. we have been trying to finalise the song book so that those who want the entire book with chords can have it. but it has been quite long since anyone did anything about it. heh. so after song fellowship, we went one round with everyone sharing their week. i told them about my netball prayer thing and they helped me pray about it. i realised there is quite a lot of things to make clear about but i haven't talked to christin about it! yup. and during bible study we learnt that jesus' resurrection is a very significant event in the christian religion. [i have to go off for dinner now and will continue later].......
yay
Thursday, February 3, 2005 03:54 p.m.
anyway, i gave extra math lect a miss today so that i could practise my guitar. wrong move? i hope not.
today we had morning run. 12 rounds! crazy. we went quite fast but only managed a 31 min. i think it says something about my stamina. i was tired and not to mention raining with sweat. still, everyone arrived almost on time(7.30) and that is wonderful. but the repercussions of running in the morning is bad. i continued to perspire for 2 hours? and i was in an LT. i was so uncomfortable until i felt sleepy and so dozed off during bio lecture, something which no one should ever ever do. have not been paying attention for the last 2 lectures already. the first time i studied for chem test. turned out that the chem test was a miserable 15mark paper. but someone pointed out that at least now, i understand reaction kinetics. well..i learnt that and missed out on the other.
training on wed, thurs, tmr, and next mon. quite tired actually. oh! i just remembered. we learnt massaging during training yesterday. very shiok lor. painful, but shiok. and very ticklish. takes some time getting use to. heh.
ok i am spending too much time here when i should be making use of this period where i skipped lecture to do the thing that i sacrificed math lect for.
cool shoes
Sunday, January 30, 2005 11:17 p.m.
m-o-s-q-u-i-t-o-e-s
Saturday, January 29, 2005 02:10 a.m.
Road Run and Recce
Saturday, January 29, 2005 12:13 a.m.
Anyway, today's road run was disappointing. Everyone's gonna say wah no. 30 ah, not bad what. Or something. But it is different when you know you could do better. I ate too much for breakfast. And it was pastry stuff, with all the complex carbo. It wasn't until hui qi pointed out that I realised I should have ate oats or something. yah. And i chionged too much at the front part. And I should have sprinted up slopes when I could. Towards the last part where we had to run to this middle gate(neither the big gate nor the small gate), my stomach started to have contractions and I had the puke action but lucky nothing came out. And I was quite pissed off because I sort of let it keep happening? I don't know. It wasn't until Maisha came along to encourage me that I could tell myself that I should fight this puke feeling. So I did.. I ran the last part sprinting and managed to overtake one person. But I felt quite bad for leaving Maisha behind. Don't know. After the J2 girls came in it was time for the J2 guys to come in. And there was this part that was so sweet. This canoeist..captain or sth..ran with his teammate even though his teammate was injured and couldn't run as fast. I mean, he could have gotten a much better position but instead he chose to wait for the other guy and they came in shoulder to shoulder. Nice. So. For the J2s, Hui Yi came in 8th (wow!!), Regina came in 14th, Kavi came in 23rd, I came in 30th, Maisha 32nd. And... I realised that I didn't ask Sangee. I know some of us are disappointed by the road run too. But I guess the only thing I can say is thank God we're not long dist runners? Our focus shd be on netball instead. I mean like, this road run is not like, the most impt thing lah so.. should be contented! Yah...so if you're feeling sad, cheer up ok? :> Btw, our juniors did really well. If I'm not wrong all of them came within top 50, with Dora, Debre, Loreen and Yan Ling clinching top 20 positions! Wanted to maybe like, congratulate them or sth but I was too bothered abt myself. Tsktsk.....
Yah anyway, I didn't go out with the netballers after the road run because I had a recce(I'm q proud that I know how to spell this) for cultural mapping. We went to the Black Canyon Coffee in Serene Centre and gosh, the student rate is so cheap! It's supposed to be this restaurant but a set meal that consists of the main dish, a coke/sprite and an ice-cream only costs $5.50!! Amazing man... Okay, the food wasn't THAT great but hello, it's even cheaper than a Mac meal so I have nothing to complain. And the coffee ice cream is nice! After lunch, Jon, Titus, Bron, Clare and me went in search of the Chinese Cemetery while Navin, Jess, Rachel and Xin Yi went to SMU. I was supposed to take footage and I must say that being a cameraman, director, "investigator" all rolled into one is not as easy as it can sound! I had to constantly be alert so that I could capture the moments where everyone were discussing about where to go and what not. It's hard ok. Didn't help that my battery was running low because of all the crazy photo-taking earlier in sch. But it's quite fun! Haha. Okay..so nothing really came out of the recce(pronounced rac-key, just in case u didn't know:>) because we couldn't find the cemetery! We actually found this plot of land that four middle aged ladies in a car claimed that was the cemetery, but after some investigating, there were no visible tombstones. But it was a mysterious looking piece of land, with all the knee-high lallang grass. Cool.. So then we actually asked a lot of directions from many people, and Clare even called a young woman "auntie!!" by mistake. Haha...very very funny but I couldn't laugh because it's rude. Hmm..maybe that's why she answered without thinking that she didn't know of any cemetery. A lot of people gave us wrong directions, we presumed, because there was no cemetery in sight. And can you believe it, we walked in at Hwa Chong Institution and came out of the estate at Sixth Avenue!! Just imagine how many kilometres we walked. And we even turned here turned there and rewalked routes. Wow... Okay. So at the end of it, Jon, Bron and I continued to walk until Guthrie House to buy cold drinks while Titus took bus home from the nearest bus stop. Oh, and Clare left earlier coz she had volleyball trg(for the 1st time)!! She said it was fun and I'm happy that she likes it. You can try prove me wrong but I think that sports CCAs give the greatest sense of satisfaction. Anyway, I saw Titus' 11th position medal...and for a moment my heart was itchy(translate this to chinese and it makes more sense).
Yup, so, that was my day. Came home and slept for veryyyy long. It's 1 in the morning but I don't feel tired. Can only start on my work tomorrow though. I better start being a good student.
I will do my homework, I will do my homework, I will do my homework (chant along with me), I will do...
random thoughts
Thursday, January 27, 2005 07:37 p.m.
tmr will be the 2nd day i.e. the heaviest day. ...
why so suay??
but hui yi saved the day by telling me that having your dedeng helps, because (according to her), the hormones being released helps. haha. i duno how much of that is true but it gets me thinking positively so i am just going to believe it.
anyway...speaking abt thinking positively, our team, or rather ms lim, initiated the speak positively movement, by which all of us must try to follow. to spread positivity and eradicate negativity. the movement is very enthu now...sangee even made a list of words that are banned in our team! haha.. even d*** and bl**dy are not allowed. i wonder how much i would have contributed to the netball fund after this year, considering we're supposed to pay 50c for every banned word spoken.
anyway..while daydreaming yesterday, i happened to think about what i would like to do in the future. like what job i want to have. and as i thought and thought, i realised that i wanted and still very much want to be an architect! i mean, how cool is it to design your own building: something which you can make use of both scientific and artistic knowledge. and to have it built on land that is on this earth...i thnk it's so cool. but think as i may, this dream will never come true lah. at least i think so. coz to be an architect u must take physics and/or arts right? well, i have neither of both. i don't even have secondary sch physics knowledge. so if i still can be one, pigs can fly.
and just now while i was daydreaming, i realise i want to have my own cafe too! haha. like..i'll go and learn how to make cakes and different types of food and i'll cook and take orders and serve the food. people can come to my cafe to relax to chat or to eat. i'll even let students do homework in my quiet and peaceful cafe, even if they buy one drink for the whole day. see i'm so nice. unlike some owners who shoo people out. people like me, for example.
but my "official" dream job is doctor. coz. i dunno..i kinda take bio and chem..and i like the human body more than plants...so i will naturally think of being a doctor right? plus i don't like to do experimental tests all day long and my interest in doing genetic work has died down. so what better specific job than a doctor, where u meet different people everyday with different problems? my job then will be to solve these diferent different problems. sounds like fun.
but actually i don't think i really know what i want to do.
today we started sch at 8.30, but i woke up at the same time anyway, bcoz i like to have free time in the morning :). wanted to practise guitar considering i only practised 1/2hr for the whole of the week. but (luckily) my father was watching channel 47, CCTV. there was this programme from 6.30-7.00am where they did a documentary on athletes. this week it was this Chinese gymmer(?) called zhang nan. and it was really nice. i mean...i got to see how the road to success isn't always smooth and no matter how good you are there will always be times when you screw up and lose something you thought you might have deserved. she got 3rd best overall gymmer in the olympics last year and is currently ranked 2nd in the world(after khorkina retired, i think). you might think that she was good all the way but there were many shots on tv showing how she maybe fell down while doing jumps or somehting. and i also saw how happy and proud she was when she won. i was .. how to say.. touched when i saw that. coz i know how good it would feel when you use all your heart to do something and somehting eventually comes out of it. :)
i think my brain is more alive in the morning. i shd start watching tv before i go to school man.
a sudden thought that came to my mind
Tuesday, January 25, 2005 09:32 p.m.
"i don't like netball politics. are girls too sensitive?"
Kind of makes sense to me. But then again, I won't know because I have never been in another cca. Guitar ensemble, maybe, but that doesn't count because very few people were passionate about it and you can't compare. So I don't have any conclusions.
ARHGH
Tuesday, January 25, 2005 08:59 p.m.
one-liner
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 10:02 p.m.
whoa.
Monday, January 17, 2005 09:49 p.m.
1. 8 rounds of caterpillar
2. 1km in 5 mins, rest, 400m in 2 mins, rest, 200m in 1 min. x2 [it doesnt sound tough but believe me, it really forces you to push yourself really relly hard so you meet the target.]
3. 2.4 km in 15 mins
4. 50 squats
5. 15 wheelbarrow pushups.
All in all someone counted and i think we ran 8.8km. :S
But i think it was a wonderful training! so full of purpose. i mean you can tell it yourself what the aim of this trg was. to build up your own mental strength. coz ultimately, it's your mind that will make u succeed in things. you have to believe that you can do it and have the courage to try it before you actually succeed. and it was really cool that there was support from ur own teammates. :). but then. i was exhausted 4 e pushups. didn't even do properly la. q disappointed w myself. nwae, e new j1s are very cute. haha. yepp..n i am v tired now, so i better go do my work before i fall asleep. see u!
mbti type
Saturday, January 15, 2005 09:18 a.m.
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs)
Wednesday, January 12, 2005 10:04 p.m.
Anyway, a blog to me is a convenient diary, not some place where you should definitely expect unexpected people popping by, as most people would assume. But I guess it's me versus the rest of the world, so I lose.
Anyway, I just bought 8 Days today. I absolutely love reading FirstPerson by Jason Hahn. He and his flatmates are just so funny. My brother thinks his flatmates are not real, because firstly his flatmates are females, and my brother thinks it's unconvincing that a guy would rent an apartment with 2 other women. And secondly, he wouldn't reveal so many personal details about their lives if they were real. I'm thinking he couldn't have possibly made all that up. I mean, week after week? It would be so painful to make stuff up every week. Anyway, you wouldn't understand unless you read the column. And everyone should. 8 Days is the best mag in Singapore. Hmm..8 Days should pay me a few cents for advertising their mag to the few people who stumble upon my blog and don't tell me about it.
Anyway, read from maisha's blog about some stuff about the carnival. I didn't know she and Regina are feeling bad about what happened. Argh. I just hope that they know that they have already did what they could and I really appreciate this thought. But we should all put this thing behind us. I'm ready for fri's training!
Netball carnival
Tuesday, January 11, 2005 04:37 p.m.
Well, we had the daisy tan carnival on sunday. Went early and stuff and pretty much did nothing until the rest came. I slept at 3am the night before and was feeling a bit crap. I was totally uninspired for the carnival. Forgive me, but I really did try all ways to inspire myself. If you found me being very pensive and slow reaction or whatever, I was trying to psych myself up for the carnival. I was put in charge to assist huiqi and you know what? Not being in a leadership position for many many months has made me rusty. And if you know me, it's hard for me to work with people whom I don't know very well. You know, like having to hold talks and discussions..really not my type. Especially if I don't know people well. And regina has always been the one to do this and she does it so well. So anyway, it did give me some stress.
So there I was, unable to find the way to inspire myself, and I was supposed to assist huiqi. The games went on and we lost 1st game, lost 2nd game, and finally won the 3rd game. I was put as GA for this 3rd game and we won. The other NJ team was cheering us on and I felt good because I could feel everyone's morale go up high a little. Just when I thought we could do this, we played a very weird game against SRJC. I don't mean to be mean but I felt we were a better team and could have fairly won it with some work put in, but we just didn't manage to do it. Complacency you think? I'm not sure either. But from what I see, our warm-ups were kind of slipshod and I haven't exactly found a way to warm myself up properly. Yes.
At this point, I know that I really do owe the team an apology. But it would be dumb for me to do this, because even if I do apologise, first it would be awkward, second they would just try to comfort me which, to me, doesn't really work. And to some extent, I know in my heart that I didn't do much good. So that is why comforting doesn't help.
I must mention that I could tell that regina was trying to psych me up and help me. She told me stuff like, you must go and talk to your team and bring the morale up. I tried to, but you know, there's a reason why she's the captain right? Yah, anyway, if I couldn't inspire myself, regina kinda did, because I could tell she was genuinely concerned for this team. But it's like biomass being transferred. It gets lesser and lesser after every trophic level. I'm not sure if you readers out there get what I'm driving at, but if you don't know, that is fine. You didn't miss out on most parts of the action.
Anyway, speaking of concern, regina's concern is like the total opposite of a certain someone. I guess it is pointless for me to try to conceal this person's identity because it will be hard to explain the coming details. It's our coach. I'm having a headache now so I can't describe the extent of my pissedness, but I am really quite angry and disappointed. I mean hello, yes I know they're the better team and they are the ones who probably have the higher chance of winning something. But guess what? You don't have to treat us like we're transparent. You don't even bother to give comments, or even be there, when we are probably the ones who are more in need of you. What? Are we just like people you throw on an unknown island and leave us to fend for ourselves? I can't believe it. And she's supposed to be a "good" coach. Tell me about it. Kavi wants to go and tell miss lim how she feels towards the coach, but I am thinking what's the point? Sure, she'd know of it, but it will only make her improving concern for us fake.
Anyway, went to the esplanade after that with huiqi. I needed to clear my mind. Somehow huiqi understands me. I think she was right on target when she said that I always have too high an expectation of myself. And I give myself so much pressure that I can't handle it. I'm thinking that's really true. Oh well, I guess that's something I have to work on.
Where is the love?
Friday, January 7, 2005 10:57 p.m.
And the really weird thing is that it is kind of unexplainable. I mean, school is actually quite fine. The class is closer now and lessons haven't gone full blast yet. Training is very intense, the way that I like it. So, what is going on??
Sometimes I think to myself that it is the coffee. Nescafe dark coffee really makes me feel weird. I drank a can this afternoon while watching Alias. Thing is, I was feeling very tired after coming home from cultural mapping, but I still went on to watch Alias. Halfway through I couldn't stand it anymore and so I went to take a nap. And I dreamt that I was Sidney Bristow! And the really scary part is that after I woke up, I still felt like Sidney Bristow. For about half an hour. I felt like I was on a mission to do something. And my heart was heavy, like how she always is as a CIA agent. Anyway it really freaked me out. Somehow I think it has remotely something to do with the fact that my brother is in the Army now. I mean, last time when I come home, he will 90% be home already, at the computer playing Final Fantasy XI. Even though we just exchange a word of "hi" or something, it feels different to have someone else at home you know? Today I came home it was just dead silence. And it felt funny to know that the computer was available for me. Shit. I think I miss my brother. In a strange sense. Because I still often complain that he comes home from the Army too often. Anyway, it's probably just a "today thing", because younger brother had dance night and was obviously not home at noon. The silence was killing me. So I went to practise guitar, to make sounds to fill the house. My exam pieces really don't thrill me at all but I had to practise because I had to show my teacher the pieces later on. And just to let me know, I played like crap today. Anyway, back to the coffee. I think I am just some distance away from totally swearing off Nescafe dark coffee. Coffee never used to have an effect on me. Damn I hate it now. Because I love coffee.
And getting back on track, my passion is acting in a very strange way. You know. I want to get good grades. I want to play good netball. I want to play nice music. I really want. And you would guess that since I really want, I would really want, right? But no. Something is stopping me. I don't know what, but there is something. My passion is acting in a way like a human who is in a coma. It is there, but it is not working. Oh how do I even begin to try to understand this.
Training-wise, I enjoy the intensity because I hate slackness. I like to be enthu. But ever since the new J1s came, I feel a bit different? It's like all of a sudden, there is so many people in this training squad. And usually, the training squad will consist of people who will either definitely get into the team, or those whom you know will more or less not make it into the team. Things are clear. But this year it is different. Everyone is really very good. I am even beginning to understand the theory of allocative inefficiency. That is, some people who really deserve to get into this year's team will not make it, simply because there are too many. I don't like this idea at all. Anyway, as a result of this, I have to really put in the damn effort, and like, strive to get into the team or something. Strive wouldn't be the best word because my word should have the connotation of being competitive as well. A little too competitive, if you ask me. And this ultimately leads me to realise that, I am not striving for the team at all. What am I striving for then? Myself. And I am disgusted with myself, really. Don't tell me I have been reduced to this creature who cannot feel for my own teammates. Where did my staunch belief that netball should be a game where its players try to become better for one another go to? Why did it go away? How can I get it back? I don't know. Thing is I know all about it yet I cannot feel it. That to me is the worst kind of thing that can happen. The mind knows but the heart doesn't feel. Perhaps the worst part about it is the fact that I know I can only wait. Wait for something to happen that will change this. Wait. An infinite time? Or maybe tomorrow. I won't know at all.
And you can't even tell it from my face that something's wrong.
last day of 2004
Friday, December 31, 2004 10:44 a.m.
it is now four days later but my brother and i still get fever on and off. and we have this really unusual bodyache that is quite..unusual. mine is at the limbs. this morning i woke up i couldn't even flex my calf muscles. i hate this. it's like you have these last few days of the year in front of you but you don't have the mood nor the energy to enjoy what's left. these few days i've been sleeping so much that i can't accomplish much during the time that i'm awake. then there's the homework. my father was saying we could continue clearing stuff during this weekend and then when he heard i haven't finished my homework he started nagging like how he's been nagging ever since i started to have holiday homework. hai. i really want to clear the room. anyway, yesterday was a really bad day for me lah. i was pissed off with almost everyone.
the tsunami disaster is really heartbreaking. i remember when sangee announced this on sunday i didn't thought it was a disaster at such a massive scale. to date, over 123,000 people are confirmed dead with many still missing. i don't even know what to say.
update: today's attempt to do work + some other stuff(i.e. how i almost died)
Wednesday, December 15, 2004 10:52 p.m.
k nwae, we were supposed to go study right? but huiqi the ultimate slacker wanted to watch a movie instead, so i was like, okay. (actually i would rather watch movie than do hw too lah. infotainment what.) we watched "national treasure". was good! i really enjoyed it, though some parts were rather forced. i was telling huiqi that if there was one thing that it did to me, it made me wanna know more abt history. it's really cool..like there's so much history to learn and discover but people just don't really bother to go and find out. and it was funny too. diane kruger managed to convince me that she was capable of acting. last time she acted in troy it was so bad. yesh.
now comes the fun part. after the movie we were walking by this arcade and huiqi suddenly suggested that we go play abit(another evidence that tells us she's slack). then i remembered the times in sec sch when me and my little bro went to play arcade almost every sunday before our tuition. we'd save money for the week and play gunbullet, this reaaaaaaaally fun game(well, at tt time). hehe. so i said yes. we walked past this basketballshooting game, and the guy was like quite good lah. kept shooting in. and then we wanted to try too. the high score then was like, 121. so we tried. first time i tried alone..was 114 or sth..den huiqi tried..113..haha. jz couldn't beat the high score!! we actually didn't want to spend so much but heck!! it was jz too bloody fun. how do i say..it'z jz damn exciting ok. there's this exhilarating feeling that u get..like will tremble because its so exciting? trying to shoot all you can before the time runs out. haha. duno how to explain. yesh. and so, with our combined forces, we made it to 144!! haha. new hi score. i felt really good coz i know i'll almost never create a hi score in like, street fighter? or metal slug. haha..and i duno, there's this guy who kept wanting to beat us..coz he kept trying and trying, but to no avail. hurhurr. then, we couldn't help but play somemore..and made it to 154! haha..damn happy. oh i remember. our motivation was to colllect 65 tickets so that we could exchange it for a drink.heh. yah..all in all i think we spent $9 on the balls! wow.
hmm...rly tired now. shll keep things short and sweet. we then went to esplanade library instead of changi airport to study, then to eat dinner and then i had to meet my other fren and huiqi helped me with directions. (for once i'll praise her. i would still be wondering how to get to liang court if not for her! haha..okay enough of praises.) yep..so my day was practically packed. and not to mention fun. i went to meet louise, my long time friend and fellow insultant. we like to insult each other and get a kick out of it. haha. took the bus home together(we're sorta neighbours) and insulted each other all the way. she was listening to my mp3 player and refused to let go even when she had to get down. the driver actually had to wait more than a few moments before i struggled to snatch back my player and before she finally let go. thanks to her the whole bus was staring at me for the remaining one bus stop of my journey. haha. funny.
but yup..hmmm...oh yah, abt how i almost died. well...it's actually an exaggeration of what really happened, but i really thought i was going to die. what happened was my brother and i made this sorta promise? that we shud do some sport every day early in the mrning. so on mon, we got up real early to make breakfast for my mum and dad but that is besides the story. ok so we decided to go cycling. that day i took the louya pok bike and my bro took the gd one. my one really sucks ok, it's jz really unstable and weird feeling. the tyres are going to burst any time and you have to peddle really hard compared to the other one. so i was like, quite breathless! then we had to cross this road, like this:
1 2 3
|| | | |
|| |^| |
ok duno if u can picture this. but yeah. [2] and [3] were the roads for cars and [1] was for pedestrians to cross. i was cycling and the green man was flashing. so thinking that it would be safe, i juz slowly peddled across. to my horror(sound like composition), a car swerved from lane [3] and went horizontally into lane [1] where i was crossing! almost banged into me ok. actually, she was right in driving into [1], but it is if and only if there was no one crossing! yeah. and i learnt that at that point in time, there was no time to scream! now i understand tv serials which have this scenario. yeah so i paddled hard and fast to get away from the car. phewwww.
and nwae..went to kino that day. saw this book called "how i became stupid". it's abt this story abt this genius guy who knows so much. but as a result of that he doesn't have many friends and so he tries to become stupid and be like the rest. it's a story abt how genius people want to be like normal people and normal people want to become geniuses. q true ain't it? too special makes u unhappy..too normal also makes u unhappy. want to buy it but...but what? maybe i'll get it. yep. also saw this interesting book call 'the math devil'. or sth like that. supposed to be a story that will make u like math more or make it look simpler. i think i need that. hha. yes. em. wat else. oh. i love my brother now because he is really generous on buying books he like. 2 days ago he bought this book called "a short history of nearly everything". looks intersetimg. yay. will read it when i have the time.
ok im getting a lot of mosquito bites and quite frankly, im tired from blogging. so i shall say goodbye and hopefully, come back soon. bye!
.
Monday, December 6, 2004 09:33 p.m.
anyway, just a quick update:
1. i've taken up knitting class
2. i've taken up a job as a waitress in suntec
3. i had a haircut
4. my new shoes are comfy albeit ugly
5. my room is not done yet but i still haven't gave up
6. i started a netball diary because i was reminded of them while clearing the room
7. i love roald dahl
and lastly, i would just like to say that
8. my mum is a control freak (elab nx time if my mood permits)
i am tired.
Monday, November 29, 2004 09:51 p.m.
whoaa...
Wednesday, November 17, 2004 10:21 a.m.
whoa. so nice. i want an acoustic guitar....
but anyway, going off for training soon. we're going to east coast to kayak. i'm looking forward :).
reading
Sunday, November 14, 2004 10:46 p.m.
today church. served by doing the dedication of tithes and offerings. was v nervous i tell you. altho it was jz a small crowd, i found myself on the verge of stuttering. lucky i didn't. heh.
rented vcds from videoezy three days ago. very expensive! it's no wonder why they can open branch after branch. but why do people still go? simple: monopoly. why doesn't any other company want to start up something like that?? that way, we'll pay less for more. which is really good. anyway, i borrowed i'm not scared, dogville, 50 first dates, lost in translation and last life in the universe. and after some "researching" on the internet, to my horror...... everything is r rated except 50dates! haha, but of course they've been censored until pg rating. i do have a knack for choosing r rated movies eh? when my brother found out, he was like, "may..i thought you were a decent girl.." haha. anyway. watched last life in the universe. it's too profound for my liking. half the time i am wondering what is happening and what the movie is about. and at the end, i totally didn't have any clue, so i had to check on the internet. haha. kind of defeats the whole purpose of watching a film?? heh. watch 50 first dates too. not bad lah. it's those feel-good movies so i don't really have much to say about it. mm..watched i'm not scared too. it's definitely more understandable than last life in the universe. and it's nice too. i like the music and the cinematography.=) best thing that it is told from a child's point of view. my brother says the movie reminds him of the butterfly. last time i missed it because i fell asleep. my brothers and i have this custom to watch movies at night in our room. then i always end up falling asleep. when we watch tv we are lying down in our beds, with the lights off, and we have to keep the volume down. every external factor is like imploring you to sleep..really don't know how they do it. heh.
anyway. speaking of movies, i haven't really talked about school of rock, have i? it's been four days and i probably forgot what i wanted to say about it, but the thing that really stuck in my mind about the movie is how inspiring it is! it's reaaally damn cool. the music, the passion, i think jack black did a very good job! how'd he learn all those chords in a short amount of time? and honestly, he can pass off sounding like a rocker man. i like his voice in rock. it's very appropriate..nice:). i'm even thinking of buying the vcd.
anyway, i'm thinking of going to run in the morning tomorrow. i really hope i don't get overcome by laziness! i really want to improve in netball and right now my fitness is not even there yet. gotta work hard!....
getting a job
Saturday, November 13, 2004 11:30 a.m.
yup nwae...haven't been updating for q long. mr ho's house is veryyyyyyyyyyy nice. i think you can't get it for a million bucks! it's like a unit in a posh condo. there are three pools and the biggest one is so huge! but smaller than the olympic size of coz. and the thing is that u know usually when it's a condo, your unit tends to be very small because each square feet cost a bomb? his is still very big! once u enter right..the whole place like got this theme. his furniture all very light colours..but not to the point where it looks like a hospital free of germs kind. and his huge window, is facing a whole area of houses and stuff. it's really scenic coz he lives on the 17th floor and the buildings are very short. so he can see a whole area of things! it's really nice. we spent our time playing his xbox with full of games to play, eating pizza and kfc, then at nine some of the girls including me went to watch the champion! haha. the guys came one by one for a while but left(coz too boring for them??) while the rest were either watching farenheit 911 or playing mahjong. den later i went to play 2 rounds mahjong, both of which i didnt win :( and later when most were gone clare and me went to play xbox. but i forgot what game it was! he had too many of that kind. the kind where the game doesn't need brain. you just had to keep jamming on the buttons and kill off the other guy. it looks like u're v gd at it coz when u keep pressing, the characters have this amazing ability to do this do that, all sorts of fanciful moves just by pressing a few buttons. haha. funn. and mr ho jokingly said his favourite game is beach volley(tsktsk mr ho?) the game is brainless one! you start by choosing the girl. there's all kinds of skin colour girls, so if u like hispanic girls u choose those. then u even get to choose their outfit! and the guys obviously chose those. haha. funnny. and so the game. you don't need to move to receive the ball at all. all u have to do is press one button containing the move that u want and she'll do it! so we got bored of it soon. heh. oh yah. and while playing mahjong, i got to see mr ho's girlfriend's picture in his phone! hmm i must say not bad. haha.
and b4 gg to mr ho's house, some of e netballers went to mai's house. i really like her house a lot. near sembawang park(=near the sea and less than 1km), serene, with an ice cream man riding his scooter selling his ice cream. it was so nice and different that i couldn't help but buy some ice cream from him. the only bad thing is that the transport is inconvenient. there's only one bus that goes to her house and it takes around 20 min to come. but hey that bus goes directly to my house! hehe. more reason to show up more at her house in the future :)
thoughts these few days
Sunday, November 7, 2004 10:10 p.m.
anyway i hate mosquitoes! it's sad to say but they've become a huge part of my life these few days. at the end of their visits, they even leave behind souvenirs which are very unpleasant. without having to count, i know i have more than 10 on me! sigh...go sch, see them. go home, also see them. and the mopiko that i bought specially for this doesn't seem to be working at all. one i still feel the itch and two they're still red and bumpy the next day. i think it's the room. my brothers get bitten too. anyway, im gonna clear a room in my house and that's gonna be my new room! have i written it here before? i'm verrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy excited ok. im so looking forward to painting murals on the walls and just having a room where i can place anything i want in it. :D but then again, my father refuses to move out his "prized possesions" like a dowry cupboard(??) that's old and tattered. he says it has sentimental value. and plus many other things that have sentimental value as well. (my father sure is a sentimental man) :). so i think it'll end up looking like a hybrid of what i want + his things which = not very nice! but o well..i guess we'll have to see how. and anyway, have i added that i've been talking about this for years? so it may not be realised afterall. heh. but i only got the mural idea this year which made me very excited. and we actually got down to clearing the room once! but we gave up after clearing less than one-tenth i think. but it was hard work ok! (you can imagine how much garbage there is in the room.) yep. heh. i'm rather determined this year, for some strange reason. speaking of murals....i still haven't thought of what to paint! so if u do have any ideas.....tell me. hehe. i want sth nice..like mayb sth to do with god(so it serves as a reminder)..sth bright.. aiyah i also duno lah. like i said, i have no idea. heh.
ok and the last thought i had on my mind these few days is Pw. we've gone through so much, i really dun wanna screw this up! now rushing to do the last few things for our PW file and presentation. tmr having a last mtg.. and tues the day. im act kinda sad it's gona end. haha i'm not sadistic or sth lah.. jz that...e piaing part was tedious but it was fun too. :)
nwae, trg is tmr. i hope it's gonna b tough (but again, i must stress tt i'm not sadistic)...wanna slp early so gotta do the PW stuff fast! so...gotta go.
pw
Sunday, October 31, 2004 10:38 p.m.
have chinese AO on fri and OP nx tues! still seems a long way to go. haiz. i really think the end of pw deserves the calling of a celebration.
the negative vibe of the world
Sunday, October 31, 2004 01:42 a.m.
today and yesterday
Saturday, October 30, 2004 10:58 a.m.
nwae, i'm supposed to meet up for pw today...but cheryl hasn't replied my msg. shd i msg again? i think she's busy with the video clip....plus i'm not even done with my script...so im actually not prepared to meet yet. haii. i don't like pw. those who know me will know that i'm not a presentation kinda person. but e presentation is e most impt part! i think. what am i gonna do? nwae we're gonna do a video on our prj. is where aziz becomes sad coz he can't get a girl...then cheryl will introduce him to e various avenues for social meetings..den he go and try..and in the end he will get a lot of girls. haha. it's funny coz it's aziz' ultimate fantasy.
i can't seem to get down to business! argh.
anyway, we had halloween party last night. i was expecting sth better! we had to wait a lot and it totally spoilt e mood of the party. we're supposed to be frightened..not wait to be frightened?? anyway...was thinking of not going coz e team wasnt gg as a team...plus i had guitar lessons which i didn't want to miss. but later i still decided to go. coz..i was able to get two more ppl to come! heh. at first, only 4 ppl were turning up... in the end, every1 cept one came! so....yeah. we played jenga while waiting 4 e party...but we were soon bored so tried to build things. we made a netball court out of jenga blocks! it looked really nice n we took a few pics of it =). i hope kavi uploads it.
on my way home that night..louise called n she sounded pretty upset. so i called her when i got home and we talked. so she was upset over sth her teacher did..n i also think he didn't handle it very well...but all in all...it sounded like a misunderstanding. i hope she doesn't get too upset abt it. i was reaaaally tired last nite n i admit i dozed off a little while she cried....but i was trying my best to keep myself awake. so we talked..and we put down. my mum was screaming for me to go n bathe. seriously, i wish she doesnt fuss over little things like that. while i was talking to my crying friend she actually burst open the door and told me to go n bathe. and she later made my brother e messenger to tell me to bathe. what's up w bathing? not like i didn't have the mind to go bathe..i was sweaty and uncomfortable! but argh, she jz had to.
anyway my mum is using e com and she is practically printing every page there is in the web! i better go help her.
erm. i'm sad again.
Monday, October 25, 2004 09:03 p.m.
nwae, today..i felt sad again. i thought i was like, over the thing..but then today don't know why, it like, came back to me. i feel...stupid? i duno. i mean i really duno what's wrong with me lah. maybe it's coz i dun like nj. or at least didn't used to. or maybe i shd jz face it and admit that i'm a slacker. but nwae, i think it's both. i still remember e first few months of nj, i used to watch tv everyday and not do a single tutorial. sorta influenced by clare, who's also such a slacker! haha. but we slack until got different outcomes lah. she's like, bloody smart! nwae, that's not the pt lah. point is......actually i also duno.
but nwae, clare wrote me this letter that she gave me today. i must say it was rather touching. haha. she was trying to comfort me abt studies..and also said some things lah. made me feel like..being a human being on earth was not that worthless? yeah. heh.
nwae, i think i know why i'm so sad. it's all because of one thing: i measure myself by measuring myself against other people. i remember when i was in sec 3 i wrote this quote on my chinese handbk: "Happiness is when you don't compare". i showed it to joyce but she was like, "huh? it doesn't make sense." i guess it probably didn't to her, but to me i think it's relevant, coz i'm always comparing myself with others, which is a rather stupid thing to do. but the futility of doing that just doesn't seem to get in my head.
well, i think i feel a bit better already. but it's useless if it doesn't last. so..err.
"Happiness is when i don't compare."
yup.
questions' answers
Sunday, October 24, 2004 01:44 a.m.
=(
but anyway, i was talking to christin online and she answered the questions that i asked in "Bad and Good Day". i think i should answer here too, otherwise it can be misleading.
1. people don't pray to the same God(i said previously that i think people actually pray to the same God). there's this story in the bible where moses goes up to the hill to _____(forgot the verb here..will go chk) the 10 commandments, while the rest of the people stayed down there. after 40 days without news of moses or God, people lost faith and tried to create an own God of their own because they wanted to depend on someone, not knowing that doing that would be useless.
2. christians, too, cannot use contraceptives. (i duno where to get that from....) well obviously from the bible but i duno exactly where.
Good thing she cleared it up. :)
Anyway, gotta go, very tired and hungry.
Guitar
Saturday, October 23, 2004 10:23 a.m.
but first, there's PW and AO chinese to overcome first. :<
anyway, my brother is inspired to learn the piano. he used to hate it coz when we were young we took lessons at a community centre and the teacher always scolded us. actually it served us right coz we couldn't be bothered to practise. but yeah, his 'phobia' stemmed from that experience. then in sec 3 he joined guitar class which was organised by his sec sch. and wa la, he hated it too, citing the reason as "too boring". but now duno why he seems inspired to take piano up again. so......good! haha. i can picture us jamming at hme, with me on the guitar and him on the keyboards. all we need now is a drummer and a human who can actually sing. haha. but..that's jz a fantasy. i think a band is just so cool. caught the eagles tv concert on starworld..it was damn good la! i love it when different guitars come together den u have the rhythm, the bass..the solo part........just out of this world great.
Bad and Good Day
Saturday, October 23, 2004 08:03 a.m.
So at the end of econs lect, I messaged Huiyi and told her about this thing that's gonna happen. Then I also told her to help me tell Christin that I would talk to her during lunch and not straight after econs lect. So she replied back and told me not to worry. I wish I could heed all their advice, because it was very logical and sensible and good advice(i.e not to worry). But I started thinking all sorts of rubbish, like how I'm going to (touchwood) get retained and have to transfer school and how shittified everything was going to get. Oh, and also, what a loser I was. I couldn't help but think so. I mean, what was I doing in school? I'm not even like an active CCA member, I didn't like have a lot of competitions on my hands to interfere with my studies, so what was wrong with me? So then, ya, I got very negative(the way that I always am, tsktsk). It was time to go see Mr Ho, and I kept telling myself, "Relax chee may, don't burst into tears even before you hear of anything. Hold it back, hold it back." So I had to walk past Poh Shen to get to Mr Ho. As usual, he was being stupid(haha) and tried to pretend not to give way to me as he packed his bag. I told him "I have to see Mr Ho", but he didn't seem like he got it(coz he didn't get to see the note) and then he just gave way.
So blahblah(my story seems ultra long), Mr Ho gave us pink slips and told us that we would not have to retain, but(there's always the but) we would have to drop subjects because we didn't meet the 2 'A' and 2 'AO' level passes criteria. In between his talk, I felt my nose becoming hot(?) on and off many times. Yup, so...there you go. I sat in the LT and the four of us started to be unhappy after Mr Ho was done. Actually no. Rachel and I were pulling unhappy faces, Hong Min was stoning but Firdaus was smiling. Haha. I think studies doesn't get the guy down, only soccer will.
Huiqi was waiting for me in the LT(how sweet:)) and then she pulled me to one side and asked about my situation. So i told her about the dropping subject thing. Yeah..then she comforted me..but I wasn't really comfort-able at that time. Clare came along to ask how I was and damn, do you ever feel that when more and more people come to ask you how you are, the more emotional you become? When she asked me that I was like oh-no-I-can't-stop-it-anymore and tears started to flow freely. Then she said, "just cry it all out, it will make you feel better". And so I did. For the next few minutes, I told them why I was unwilling to drop any sub..and they tried to talk sense into me. And Huiqi's friend kept popping by to tell a lot of nonsense stuff and it was rather retarded so I felt a little better coz it felt as if my mind was away from the truth. Yeah..so then (I forgot how), the talk ended and I felt better, and Clare and me went out of the LT. We were talking talking, and somehow it finally got to me that taking 3 subs wasn't such a bad thing. I would have more time for each subject, and I should work on 3 instead of struggle with 4. Yay.
On the way, I saw Christin. She was being a lame ass as usual(if I'm not wrong she was playing hide and seek or something). Then she walked with me for a while..then she sa w the aftermath of my eyes after crying(i.e red) then I think she knew I cried. She asked me if I was running, I said "yeah", then I think she told me that she had lessons so not running, and off she went like a silly girl.
Clare and I were planning to go to a toilet to wash my face, but alas, the toilet was under wash. So we had to walk all the way to another toilet. My next plan was to run so I had something to do besides mulling over my grades(which is, a very pathetic thing to do). But alas, it rained. Funny how the world works 'along' with you when you're at your downest? But I think God knew me. I was amused, rather than irritated when all these things happened. It was kinda funny. Anyway Clare and I shot a bit of basketball before it really poured and then we went to the canteen. I was hunggreee and downed a bowl of seafood horfun in a matter of minutes. Rachel, Siao Mei, Chi Teng, Hongmin, Joanna, Jonathan, Xinyi and Jessica were there too. Rachel was being amused by clown(her crush) because it was his birthday and according to SJI tradition, he had to be stripped in the toilet. His friends apparently took pictures of him(stripped) and offered them to Rachel(because they know she likes him). So, amused she was. In case you forget, she was one of the four who had to drop subs. And she's a Christian too. It's really strange how her clown's birthday fell on the same day she was informed to drop a sub and how it made her happier. =)
So in the end, left me, Clare, Jess, Xinyi, Jon, Hongmin and Joanna. We started, I don't know how, talking about being mothers and how we came into this world. Clare told us the story of how she once ate too much watermelon and became asthmatic. Haha. I didn't know too much watermelon makes you breathless. Heh..and then we started talking about contraceptives, which of course, Jon didn't participate. We were talking things like condoms and IUD(which is gross), which brought us to the topic of how Catholics cannot use contraceptives at all. That's why, as Clare explained, Catholics usually have very big families because they cannot use contraceptives. Then she asked me if Christians were like that too, and I didn't know. Can they?? So talk talk talk and we started talking about religion. It was quite a good thing to talk about because Jess was a Buddhist, Xinyi was a free thinker, Clare was a Catholic, and Jon and I were Christians. Diverse range of beliefs. From there I learnt that even in Buddhism, there are different types of practices. Something like how Christians consists of Catholics and Protestants and how Protestants is further divided into Methodist, Anglican, etc.. And Jess has to chant scriptures in the morning and at night. We shared about practices that we had to do, and it was good because I learnt a lot of things about other religions. Come to think of it, I have never really explored into other religions, which I think is actually necessary to understand the whole picture. Clare said that she believes that everyone is actually praying to the same God, just that everything is just so split up. I wonder how much of that is true. I really do. Somehow or another, I seem to agree with her. When countries began to form and cultures forming in each countries, inaccessible to other cultures, wouldn't it be possible that truths became misinterpretted or 'mutated'? I think that is probably how all the religions look so different. But the main thing is, everyone believes there is a God. And it is prevalent in all religions. Yup, so there. Jon also taught us something interesting. His cell group leader is a policeman and he taught him how to find which bullet went through the glass first, assuming there is many bullets. But I don't know how to explain it here. Heh. Wanna know, can ask me.
So, that is my long day yesterday! I amaze myself by how much I can actually remember. Like so vividly even though I have an ultra poor memory. Hehheh.
Thursday, October 14, 2004 11:58 p.m.
oOOOOOOOOOPPs
Saturday, October 2, 2004 05:21 p.m.
Monday, August 30, 2004 01:13 a.m.
1.Guitar Exam
2.Bio SPA Skill D
3.School work
4.P5 Camp
5.Netball(since we're done w e competitions.)
had aural practice after the awards ceremony today. had this tcher called ms amy foong. in case u duno, for guitar students, special arrangements must be made with piano teachers for aural lessons coz guitar tchers don't teach that. yup. so. she was this really funny 20 yr old teacher from malaysia. ok my aural sucked like shit. realised my talent for music is way down there. haha. but im trying. nwae she reminded me that aural is only like 20 mks? i shd jz focus on my 3 pieces which i still love terribly much after listening to it for so long. whether i play it well is another thing. yup. so. let aural take a back seat lah. im really glad coz this yrs exam is held in j8 which is where i take my lessons. more familiar=good. nwae k..i went in with my bio lect notes on photosynthesis which i hate so much. den she happened to see it n coincidentally..she was this huge aspiring bio fan who wanted to work in the bio field..but unfortunately e msian govt is so biased against e chinese tt she couldnt make e cut to e uni of m'sia. put it simply, they dont embrace the meritocracy culture that singapore has(which im glad for). so, she came to singapore instead, to teach music. i think she's saving up money now or sth..trying to get into the NAFA..den i think she plans to make music a career. hmm...she talks as if she knows what she wants in life already. which makes me damn envious. when we were walking out of e sch coz cristofori was closing, she asked me what my ambition was. i just shook my head lah. i mean, i really don't know what i want to do. come to think of it, im so 'jack of all trades but master of none'. and i hate it. if i could be anyhting i wanted to, i'd be a competitive nballer. but, not gd enough. or i could be a guitarist. but, there's still a long way to go. i could..be an entrepreneur. now that sounds gd. its really fun. but i duno anyhting abt it. i could be...no. i could never be a biologist(in any sense). i think i really have none whatsoever interest in bio now. which kinda sucks. maybe i'll love it again soon, but i duno. right now i hate it. i hate it for its complicated terms and confusing compounds and tedious processes. why do ppl wanna go to such extremes to find out right down to the atoms to what happens in the body n in living things? i duno. it makes aesthetically(spelling correct not) wonderful creatures look so science. n it bugs me.(pun fully intended)
Sunday, August 29, 2004 11:54 p.m.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004 06:21 a.m.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004 07:08 p.m.
Hmm..what can i say? School's rather weird, but i'm adapting to it to the best that i can. its really a lot of discipline. no teacher will now analyse what went wrong during ur common test n chase after u to do ur work. now that there's no more chasing, i kinda miss it. haha. at least it made me work. but it's always like this. cherishing things only after its gone. ironic as it can ever get.
Hmm..must say im really struggling with bio. used to love it but now my love for it is really waning. duno is because of my tutor or wat. aiyahz. jz damn lost in the subject lah. i like chem, like econs(at least more than in the past), ok with math. sometimes i really wonder how i was so sure i wanted science stream. these few days i'm really missing lit. mayb i shd have gone into arts? that's what i've been pondering abt these few days. but its not nice thinking abt it. when i think arts, i tell myself to stop looking back cos its nv gg to chg. when i think sci, i tell myself i cant picture myself doing lab work/ sci research. science seems dumber and dumber by the day. ah.
Anyway, brushing tt aside n talkin bt lit, i jz read finish the christmas train by david baldacci. and how did i come to know abt tt bk? all thnks to joyce n a day at the orchard library with her a long time ago. haha. said it was her fren's fave book of all time. i thought wow of all time? must check it out. but being unlucky as i always am, was not until two days ago tt i found this bk at tp library. but nwae, i was still delighted to find the bk. k so, this bk is abt a guy, tom, who takes the train from DC to LA to meet his on n off girlfriend from LA for xmas. but he also wanted to take it coz he was trying to find an answer to the hole that was in his heart. he had this hole ever since the 1 woman he ever loved walked out on him. then, as luck would have had it, he saw her again on the train. of course, he was still deeply in love with her n he nv knew why she had left him. but she was still very cold to him. and, after a series of events happening, the girl, eleanor, finally told him that she nv stopped loving him once, n that the only reason why she left him was because he was a person lived for himself and himself alone. even though he loved her, he would still take on assignments that were v dangerous, like covering wars(he was a journalist), leaving her worried like hell. then after more events, they finally realised how much they loved each other and got together again. perfect ending.
As i read it, i was happy that the events turned out like that, because im inclined to happy endings. i also thought david baldacci's story was very entertaining coz eleanor and tom's dialogue was v well written. it made u really want them to be reconciled coz ..i duno y too it jz did. but one thing that really made me go "nyak"..sorta a sniggering sound, was that how perfect the story seemed. Girl likes guy, guy likes girl, people on the way that made it possible for a reconcilation. it was jz too good to b real. kinda brought out the cynical side of me i guess. i mean, after 17 yrs, i think i have come to the pt where i dun believe in such stuff anymore. i dun believe that in this world, a guy will only love tt girl in his whole life, and girl, in return, only loved that guy in her whole life. the world's full of guy-loves-girl-so-much-that-girl-becomes-touched and guy-likes-girl-and-girl-likes-guy-but-they-are-not-each-other's-most-loved kind of love. i dun think i can still believe in the story that david baldacci created. why? i also don't know. probably from what i've seen around me and what i've gathered over the years from adults. it's very sad, i think so too. i wished i wasn't wired this way too, but too bad.
But all things said and done, i know i wud b really happy if ever in my life i were to witness such a couple. it would refute anything that i've jz said. n i wud gladly let it be that way.
Saturday, May 15, 2004 12:10 a.m.
Thursday, May 6, 2004 10:09 a.m.
But sadly, i think society has a tendency to discourage such wonderful weirdness. There's this guy in my GP class who's darn irritating because he has like no respect for others one lah. There was this time everyone was trying to complete their GP essays and he kept like asking the teacher, "Miss ___, I want to go for a break. All my friends are having a break noww. I want to go and eat now. Can I come back laterr.." DARN irritating lah. I wanted to punch him coz he kept breaking my train of thought. In the end the teacher sent him off lah, coz he was just so distracting. But anyway, the point is that on several other occasions, he is weird in the non-offensive kind of way. And that kind i don't mind, because he was just being himself what. But then the teacher like, i don't know, criticised him for his actions? Maybe it's because he had been offensively weird on many occasions, until he just gets on her nerves or what lah, but actually when he's non-offensive he's quite okay.
It would really be fun if everyone were to be able to accept weirdness as normal-ness, coz who dares to say they're perfectly normal? That would be abnormal and conforming too much to what society wants you to be. (ill continue later...)
Tuesday, May 4, 2004 11:23 p.m.
Anyway, i think guitar is a goner for me liaoz. I have the urge to quit it now.
Thursday, April 29, 2004 01:27 a.m.
nwae! i think i cannot go for hc matches leh, how huh. coz college day concert is coming up and i think i have to go for practice. finals of game on wed somemore. and wed got an audition kinda thing to c whether u muz come back for more practice. argh. pls tell me wad to do. feel like being responsible and irresponsible at the same time. urgh. again.
kie nwae njc got kicked out of e tournaments liao..n weiling jz told me tt they gonna start trg soon. i cant wait. hope e team's nice..=) and...wad else..oh. i'm in the NJC TAF CLUB now. haha. from MCS TAF to NANYANG TAF and now this. been in this club all my life..nothing new lah. haha. i shud have a permanent membership card or sth.
nwae(i use a lot of nwaes),i miss a lot of ppl man. even like those that i'm not even close to..if i suddenly see someone(even tho not close) i'll be like very happy. kinda miss ny i guess, even tho its like jz beside me, and i always see chang tsai giving pe lessons. the students still have to sit down for abt 10 hrs before she really gets into physical activities. haiz. okie nwae, shd go back to work liao. havent blogged so much for a long time :).
Tuesday, April 20, 2004 07:13 p.m.
Not that I haven't been enjoying myself lah. Nj has been pretty fine i guess.. My class is damn funny can. Got this guy, poh shen, who looks so funny one look at him you can start laughing. Haha.. He's a big guy and looks like a mascot coz he looks like a comic character. Then his expressions damn stupid one..like v stone but he always makes stupid comments. And he talks super slowly. Haha.. Then yah loh..everyone is funny. Hehe.. Em. It's better than what I expected lah..coz I expected myself to be really miserable and lonely. It's been quite gd lah. But I miss my teammates and nanyang. Been so long since I saw them.
Hmm..yah loh. I can't wait for netball trainings to start. Nj having their season now, so can only join after. So sad hor. If I got into their team this yr I would be playing with liyana now! They're having training now and she's so zai man. And I didn't realise their coach is mary lee. Dunno if it's a good thing or bad thing.
Yup..that's all I have to say.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004 10:10 p.m.
by Tom Jones
The old home town looks the same,
As I step down from the train,
And there to meet me is my mama and papa
Down the road I look and there runs Mary
Hair of gold and lips like cherries
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home
Yes, they'll all be there to meet me,
All creatures smiling sweetly
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home
The old house is still standing,
Though the paint is cracked and dry
And there's an old oak tree that I used to play on
Down the lane I'll walk with my sweet Mary
Hair of gold and lips like cherries
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home
Then I awake and look around me
Cold gray walls surround me
And I realize that I was only dreamin'
There's a guard and there's a sad old padre
Arm and arm we'll walk at daybreak
Again I'll touch the green, green grass of home
Yes, they'll all be there to meet me
In the shadow of that old oak tree
As they lay me beneath the green, green grass of home
Don't ask me wad this song is abt. Heard on my mom's car and i think it's very nice! =)
Thursday, March 25, 2004 11:39 p.m.
I have no idea what's going on for chem, bio, econs and probably math, coz cj was teaching at such a slow pace. And now, I don't even attend the make up lessons coz I'm always in hc hoping for something that will now never come true.
To be honest, I feel soo lost. Everything I had on my hands now seem to have disappeared. Hc, netball, jiaolian, teammates. Guess I really went in too deep into it, thnking that I sure get into hc.
I think the hc thing has been on my mind for so long and frankly I'm like sooooo super sian and sick and tired of it. From the o levels days until now.. That's like so freaking long. I remember I even told michelle and a few others that I decided not to even go hc or play nb anymore. And after gg for trg, I decided otherwise.. And now this. Lonng story man.
Haiz I don't even know what to say. I'm hoping for the best in nj, but to me I just can't seem to put all these behind me. Hai. Whatever.
Actually, I came back from china sunday feeling very happy, and for a moment I thought everything would have turned out well, and I could've put up the good news here and blog abt all the wonderful experiences in China..but no, it's just not gonna happen anymore lah. I'll miss my teammates in hc man..even all the j2s.
Yup, this is the end of my pointless and useless blog entry.
Monday, March 8, 2004 11:37 p.m.
Hmmm. Ok, in fact I dunno the reason too, but I feel like singing now. Like, humming tunes like hm hm hmm.. makes me happier. haha. You know there's a song, the range is only from doh to soh but it's so catchy and nice i can't stop humming to myself! It goes like this: 5 3 3 4 2 2 1 2 3 4 5 5 5 5 3 3 4 2 2 1 3 5 5 3 2 2 2 2 2 3 4 3 3 3 3 3 4 5 5 3 3 4 2 2 1 3 5 5 1.....=)
Hrm. I have been sorta praying for an answer for one of the questions that I've been thinking about for so so so long(and I believe that's the reason why I've been sO utterly sian these few days), and guess what?? I GOT AN ANSWER! Well, not exactly an answer(yet), but I know the answer is in this book I'm reading now. So, thank God! =) And something inside tells me that there is more in the Bible, so I'm gonna search for it. You can pray for me if you want to :).
And one more thing. I realised that learning is one thing and applying is another thing. The former is easy but the latter is really, really hard. Requires so much effort man. And this applies to everything that is going on in my life right now.. So the conclusion is I better learn to apply, or my life will go haywire.
Anyway, I would just like to say... Whatever problems, whatever doubts, run to Him. As long as there is this tiny little bit of you that believe that He is real afterall, go for it. You never know what'll happen. :)
Thursday, March 4, 2004 10:51 p.m.
everything's so undecided and unconfirmed now. really envy those who can choose whatever they want to. at least they don't have to be afraid of not knowing where they'll end up. sigh. i will seriously be lost if i dont end up in hc. prob will then end up in nj or vj. or if not worse, aj.
Wednesday, March 3, 2004 11:45 p.m.
Monday, February 23, 2004 01:23 a.m.
And, this is kinda late, but happy belated birthday iona=).
I'm so happy my mother understands. But then again, she might be in a gd mood, that's why she didnt scold me for coming home late. But anyway, i must try to help out in the family more lah. Have been shirking my responsibilities for a little too long now.
=). Well..I hope everyone can be happy too.
Monday, February 9, 2004 10:50 p.m.
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
think i took this test b4 but both were taken in different moods.
Monday, February 9, 2004 10:26 p.m.
Anyway, yday's bible study teaches us not to judge and gossip, and I committed the sin today. i think. mm.. Must fan2 xing3.
Monday, January 26, 2004 10:17 p.m.
Friday, January 23, 2004 03:16 p.m.
Congratulations! You're Pippin!
Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Thursday, January 22, 2004 02:54 a.m.
You have the Power of Flight!
What's Your Magic Power?
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Thursday, January 22, 2004 01:20 a.m.
Mary Hopkins
Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days
Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same
Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days
Hmm.. have no idea why i suddenly thought of this song. it quite sounds like what i feel? for some parts.. this song.. sweet, bitter, happy and sad. it's kinda like now to me. i miss the days in ny, even though we always slam ny.. i realise now how good it is. really. today at cj's concert the 'let's get loud' song by jennifer lopez got played. den i almost felt like crying. like.. i think i hated tt mass dance, but at the same time i was so happy then. hai. oh anyway, today is chinese new yr why am i sayin such depressing things. means i will be lydat for the whole yr leh. *oh no* another depressing thing, i got ruler hair again. 0_0
anyway, i m tryin to dl the cj mass dance song, the indian one that goes 'achar achar achar achar..choli choli angoli..' sth lydat. so nice leh tt song. who noes the title pls tell me ok.
Friday, January 16, 2004 07:16 p.m.
hai. okie. that's abt it lah, except mdm goh was being funny again. pronounced allocation as aah-loe-cation. and she scolded the a gp of boys for being "leh-zee feilowws" for not drawing their graphs. her accent is so weird and funny. like she makes a lot of effort just to pronounce one syllable. heh.
Thursday, January 15, 2004 10:54 p.m.
Thursday, January 15, 2004 06:36 p.m.
Rainbow
?? Which Natural Wonder Or Disaster Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
=)man i love the brad pitt picture..
Thursday, January 15, 2004 06:00 p.m.
AND, i have to find out which idiot pasted a $1.90 price tag on my back. quite smart lah the person, i must say. hehe.. i TOTALLY duno when/where/who/why/how he/she pasted it. -__- i can't imagine that such things are still happening to me. somemore of all people, my younger brother had to be the one who spotted it. laughed at me somemore. =~(. worst thing is, i was all around sch today, den later even went to coro with e price tag on my back, me in total oblivion. sigh. pls own up if you're the one, den i'll consider forgiving u.
Monday, January 12, 2004 05:15 p.m.
You are going to marry Brad Pitt. He is always
friendly to anybody he ever meets and he is
very talented as an actor. He is also very
sincere and friendly. He will respect you until
the day he dies. Congrats!!
Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
AHH! i got the brad pitt one! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
*beams into michelle's face*
:D
Friday, January 9, 2004 08:36 p.m.
so.. that's all i have to say. my class is q ok.. but hope we can b closer somemore loh. must more enthu oso.
Thursday, January 1, 2004 12:05 p.m.
by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Thursday, January 1, 2004 12:10 a.m.
Youth
?? Which Angel Or Demon Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE AND HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR AHEAD! =D
Wednesday, December 31, 2003 10:00 p.m.
hmmm..thinking what i shud join in cj. already decided with kellie to join guitar club, but i still wana join more lei..hehe. maybe canoeing? sounds terribly exciting, but hiaopok desiree dissuade me by saying i will get big arms and scrawny legs. haha. so funny. i think my legs won't be able to support my body then. so wat shud i join? um, air rifle so i can shoot things? hockey? no i hate hockey. fencing!! hehe, so fun. is there fencing for girls too? shall find out. n i think i shall stop here. sound a bit crazy already, talking to myself and all. heh.
btw, i haven't received my cjc letTER!! howwww, i think they don't want me anymore. michelle received it, phyllis received it..joyce, as i read from her blog, received it oso.. what bt me! they are rather biased. hehe. ok fine, i shall go check my letterbox for the last time today, then see how. tataaaa!
Friday, December 26, 2003 11:25 p.m.
You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, December 26, 2003 10:58 p.m.
nwae, i realise i haven't seen any of my cmates 4 a longlong time.. i miss them q alot. hehe.. can't make it 4 tmr's steamboat as well, but i hope they have a nice time catching up=). lala.. wana saE a big HELLO to iona, yi qian, kellie, mintaE, vanEh, yuen mei, singyin, fEnhui, sien, eileen, tiffy, mel, jiehui and phyllis[tho i doubt she will c dis]!! just for fun. hehe.. btw, my new fave color is BROWN! not that i have forsaken orange, i still love u(orange) a lot.. but i have a new found love! hehe.. anway they go well! orangebrown. :D ok im gg to slp early today 4 tmr's nb camp. gdbye..
Wednesday, December 17, 2003 09:12 p.m.
Monday, December 15, 2003 01:33 a.m.
Aphrodite/Eros
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Monday, December 1, 2003 12:07 a.m.
Sunday, November 23, 2003 09:02 p.m.
Today went to the flower exhibition in Esplanade! Haha, coz my mother got free tickets so our whole family was supposed to go together. Sigh but in the morning my elder brother had a fever so he didn't go, and I didn't really have any mood for flowers. But still went in the end and things started to pick up loh. Wasn't so sian.. Took lotsa pictures with flowers... blahblah.. Then my parents had to quarrel again. Hai why can't everybody live in harmony!
Um, isn't this a rather depressing entry? Haha, nvm, at least I went to run today! Ran eight rounds but like a snail. I didn't overtake anyone and instead everyone was whizzing past me. That's how I knew how snail-like I was. Hehe. Hai ok I got nothing to say liao, except that I am scared for tmr! It's been one million years since I played nb. Duno if I still noe how to catch the ball!! And I have to play ball in hwachu. Thought of that just scares me. But, I should just go and play right? Shouldn't always think abt negative things. Right cheemay, no negative thoughts....
Friday, November 21, 2003 10:31 p.m.
Today also celebrated yiqian's and cenna's bdaE! Wah they very best must born on the same day and coincidentally I must know the both of them as well. Sigh. Had to rush here rush there.. But the thing that I realised out of this whole thing.. Is that I have no time management AT ALL... Supposed to reach yq house at 12..but I reached at 1. Then later shud have reached marche at 5.30, I reached at 6.30. Sighh... So kium pa hor? I deserve to be punished.. oops:X. I wanted to SWIIM!!! Sigh.. Had to control that urge.. Coz its that time of the month. It's been a hell of a long time since I swam, like, not in the sea. Haiz but ended up playing daidee.. hoho. I realised I actually CAN win!! =) Last time play with netballers like always lose to them..but now I do win!! What does tt imply....? That yuen mei and singyin *ahEm ahEM*...or that I IMPROVED?? Hee. The latter lah. Then, we were all supposed to watch T_T THE EXORCIST T_T, budden we were so engrossed in daidee plus the beginning very un-understandable.. so we gave up in the end! Nvm, must bring for chalet and scare the shit out of everyone! Hah. Took neos with netballers today. Today was maad! The whole neo taking thing was like filled with drama..At first michelle shouted "hey cannot see my face!" in a kan cheong manner...then weilin and laughed like hell in the front. Hahaha.. Damn funny loh, all the commotion. Budden I bet I'll get muscle ache tmr. Coz i so short, always no choice but to stand in the front. Then always have to ban4 dun1 like zhan4 ma3 bu4. So bloody tiring cann. Urgh. Hai go ahead laugh at me.. Im a flehhhbeee little girl.=(
Can't wait for class chalet now.. We'll be in a haunted house with peacocks! Haha.. Maybe we can try eating them as well, since there are apparently a lot. Help to control population mah. Hehe.. Lala.
Mmm, today's bdaes are so like significant. Coz, first is like the last yr we sec 4s are together.. Then e next is that cenna's migrating..Sigh, that's a lot to take in one day.
Ok, v tired liaoz. Wanna sleep. Should I watch xjsn? It's so slow moving until I fell asleep while watching it. Even though yayu is so shuaai!! Haiyo. Blame the producer....tata!
Thursday, November 20, 2003 11:10 p.m.
Wednesday, November 19, 2003 12:16 a.m.
Which 'Friend' Are You?Find out!
oh no... im a guy?! :(........
nvm, i like ross. :D
Wednesday, November 19, 2003 12:07 a.m.
BUT! I have no choice but to thank her coz she helped me with my blog. Hehe.. And I shall also leave that untrue line up here.
Tuesday, November 18, 2003 11:50 p.m.
